What do you wish...

people knew or understood about your mental health condition?

Kali White VanBaale

May 12, 2025

MAKE IT OK.

That’s NAMI Iowa’s Mental Health Awareness Month slogan for 2025.

I mentioned this to my friend Chase recently during a phone call, and asked something I’d never asked him before:

What do you wish people knew or understood about your mental health condition?

Chase suffers from a serious mental illness called schizoaffective disorder (a combination of schizophrenic and mood disorder symptoms). He was silent for a few seconds, then quietly answered,

That it can be just as painful, or more, as a physical illness or injury. Only it’s inside my brain.

I thought about the weight of his reply long after our phone call ended, and how I’d never thought about his condition in that way until he said it. Then I wondered how others might answer the same question.

So I started asking and digging around to compile replies.

Lisa Grouette, fellow Iowa Writers’ Collaborative member, Lisa Explains It All:

I wish people understood that bipolar is not fast, hot-and-cold mood swings. It’s not rooted in volatility. While, yes, manic episodes can cause a person to act out in ways, these actions are often more self-destructive in nature than they are antisocial. I think sensationalized true crime shows and even well-publicized bipolar patient Amber Heard have done a terrible disservice in portraying folks with bipolar as violent or inherently toxic individuals. We are largely normal, productive, caring folks with rich inner lives and meaningful relationships. The word bipolar is often used as a pejorative to describe an unpleasant or indecisive person, when it’s actually a serious medical condition. It seems that mental health issues are the only ones we use as a negative descriptor of folks. You wouldn’t say “Man that guy is so heart disease.”
So why do we do it with mental health issues?

Kim, age 36:

Mental health is so personal and can look different for everyone. I wish people understood anxiety and depression aren’t always visible. Just because I seem “fine” doesn’t mean I’m not struggling. And with anxiety I can't simply “just stop thinking about it” or “not let things get to me.”

Anonymous:

That a broken brain is as bad as a broken leg.
You are not expected to give 100% with a broken leg, so why are people with mental health issues still expected to do so.
Like, let us heal too, please. Thanks.

Anonymous:

Some people still seem to think that mental health conditions and illnesses are some sort of choice, like I just need to choose to be happy and not sad. You can't choose not to have mental ill-health any more than you can choose not to have cancer. I didn’t ask for this condition, nor did I do anything wrong in my life to “cause” it. Why do some people still view it like a personal failure?

Paul, age 57:

There’s no “one size fits all” approach to therapy and treatment for mental health conditions and illnesses. Some people get improvement fairly quickly, but others can take a really long time to get better with gains and losses along the way. If it’s not you personally and is someone you care about, know that it will take them time to heal and you can’t rush them.

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Anonymous:

It’s not something that just goes away when I exercise, eat healthier or take meds. It’s always there, just under the surface, and can resurface at any time, despite any diet or lifestyle changes I might make. I will never not have depression. I wish people understood that it’s a life-limiting illness that doesn’t automatically improve with doing the “right” things.

O.H., age 22:

I wish people knew [obsessive-compulsive disorder] is more than just being neat and tidy. It can infest every aspect of lift and preys on fear and guilt. But it is also very rewarding to make improvements and break barriers showing that it doesn’t define me.

Amanda (From On Our Moon blog):

I wish it was considered a medical condition by society. People think it’s weakness. But if they felt what I felt, they’d see carrying on with the day to day actually takes an incredible amount of strength.

Jen (From On Our Moon blog):

I think most mental health conversations center around depression, even eating disorders... but most of all… anxiety. They are, I suppose, deemed the most socially acceptable, the most widely felt. They are not talked about enough, but still, they are not taboo. But what about those mental illnesses that are hidden? That are barely spoken of? What about psychosis? Schizophrenia? Schizoaffective disorder? Dissociative identity disorder? Bipolar disorder? These are the things my family deals with, and as soon as I even mention the word “schizophrenia”, even allude to violent episodes, psychosis, or hallucinations, it’s like people go silent. They stare. They get wildly uncomfortable. Because anxiety, oh yeah, totes get that. But understanding something like hearing voices, or having uncontrollable moments of anger/violence, extreme paranoia…. it’s something they don’t want to hear. I personally don’t have these disorders, but both my brother and dad do. And these disorders are a part of my everyday life. They are a part of me. I’ve learned to accept and appreciate my brother and dad, who…we like to say…have “rainbow brains.” I don’t see Schizoaffective disorder (bipolar 1 + schizophrenia) as bad!! It just means they see the world differently, and the strength it takes to deal with psychosis is unreal and needs to be celebrated. People that deal with serious psychotic disorders should not be hidden in the shadows (esp men with mental illness, as they are largely left out of the mental health conversations on social media platforms). We need to welcome them into the mental health conversation with loving arms and applause ♥️

Thank you to everyone here for bravely sharing your thoughts to help continue educating us all, and make it ok.

Reader, what do you wish people knew or understood about your mental health condition or illness?

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